This is how freelancing looks like to me

Design as process of Hypostatisation/Reification

Not so much because we can think we do. But we do we think, I think. But lameness aside, I have to say that I have been thinking what does creative process mean to me, or better, what it means to design.

Design is a goal specific task, and it is preoccupied with the object at hand. This object, can be improved, and is this process of improvement/experimentation that we call design. It requires research, planning, thinking, and prototyping in different scales and or materials. This path is cyclical and requires also it recording, classification and archival.

The final process is the culmination of a cumulative process of iterations based on the cyclical improvement, and process based decision making. Its about opening path of exploration, and continuous decision making.

This rant is mostly for me, as I have kind of managed found some sort of sense to this, that I have been scratching my head about. It is of a huge difficulty to bring the idea of criticality into this process, since it so object oriented it manages to scape many implicit relationships of being, and the ones that establishes.

I whizwish to think that this process can grow in time, with the idea of control.

Control equals design, and for that matter it marries power so well.

To design the non-designable is a brief in itself, and requires almost inevitably the forgetting of design. It a bit of a too obvious paradox. There is no investigation of the formal, and no formal outcome for that matter.

If you find yourself in this position, you are no designer.

On Emotional Blackmailing/Design as Revision/On the Anxiety of Success/
And the Religious Idea of Complacent Contingent Favouritism

[PORTFOLIO]

If anything having a portfolio, for a designer is a must. Throughout my degree I thought of work as the utmost important part of my creative process.
I have most recently learn and established a practice of labeling and archiving, which helps me in furthering my learning and being able to keep a reference of it. A dead Diary.

[WEB]

I have also created a website, which also holds a database of the books and resources I have looked into and consider of relevance to my work. This website allows me to showcase my work across different platforms and audiences. Its hard work since it need constant updating, but allows me to show my digital work effectively. There are a lot of thing I need to learn about this medium.

[IN CASE]

Casing your work is a big one, and it is true that a portfolio case, in my opinion, should have the corporate-like attitude. Minimal, unnoticed. So generic it goes unnoticed, which in the eyes of a designer is a difficult task. There should be no room for portfolio fetishizing.
Since you case has become the IBM of design, you need to make sure your layout/pages/work is arranged in a similar fashion. Ruthlessly clear and accessible.

[TEXTING]

Adding text to work is something that I have been long against in any kind of work, which is a big mistake. Your portfolio reviewer, aka potential employer, is not going to become a museum goer, standing in front of your pieces to decode them. Hi yes wake up. There needs to be a quick access point. Put your narrative in paper. Label the page, the project name, the medium and the story behind the image. This will suffice.

[SIZE]

Yes Matters. A lot. Print tests are undervalued, as well as it is exhibition time. You need to work hard to get your content right in combination with the form. In an age of mechanical reproduction{dated}Benjamin would suggest, make it big. If you need to move your head to read an image, stop it. Don't do it. Resize.

[SEQUENCE]

Think of the sequence in which your work is going to be presented. You open it, you flip the pages, you close it. You hand in the business card.

[CARD;BUSINESS]

These need to convey the vital info about you. Name. Phone number, email and position.

[GENERIC IS BOOD]

Different people look for different things. I think the winning portfolio is the one that remains generic enough to divert the attention to your work, while generating some sense of personality, aka difference, for you want to consider pieces of framework as pieces of design (They Are, with their Overt Implications). This balance is the Holy Grail or Grails. And it is also the reason or tension where the idea of Complacent Contingent Favouritism lays. It is religious because it leaves its fate to contingency, and the idea that it will line up to your favour. I.e. don't worry it's going to be fine, just keep on working... In my mind this would show an error message, I would strive for perfection, now, unless the show aims as practice as work in process, aka there is no final piece.

The reason I can't validate a form of practice that encourages work in progress is because inevitably progress leads to imperfection and experimentation, going against the tenets of finished or polished work. It is mainly a shift in sensibility-not in working/presentation practices-that validates this kind of attitude (like the magazine).

[GAD AND EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING]

This is an easy one. Not really. Sorry, Not Sorry(Miranda Sings), is a kind of difficult attitude that is also difficult to detect, when people use their and your emotions to their advantage. Most complicated bit of this is that sometimes these attitudes are unconscious, we engage in them without necessarily knowing. If you are working towards your portfolio and a friend of yours uses their emotions to get you out of the house against your will-aka you were working towards a deadline-, this constitutes a form of you-yourself going against your will. This is a bad example, but it has to do with the idea that someone might get upset if you don't do something they wanted you to do, or they use your guilt to your advantage. In other words, they use your sensibility, and mindworkings to their advantage, as if a kind of Google Friends Product (to be patented to be sure).

*At the end of the day work needs to be there progressing. The finished is a delusion, and if you fail     to find compatible sensibility, it might be the time to start your own form of practice.

  

Today I am writing about all the stuff that I think I have done wrong in the past and that I need to learn from:

(1)Skewed Prioritizing/Maxi-Stessfulness
PROBLEM This one has to do with the fact that I don't allow my fellow comrades, aka at work, or friends, to know in advance about my plans, availability and future moves.
ACTIONPLAN This has to do with planning ahead. Practically this means that I have to set milestones in my calendar and add to them a cautionary deadline for cancellation or rescheduling so I don't affect other peoples work.

(2)Anxious Buying
PROBLEM I find myself home alone and instead of finding an activity to do I distract myself by buying stuff on the internet which is one-click away.
ACTIONPLAN I think this is a difficult one. This means I have to occupy myself with something that I enjoy doing. Something that I can relate to. I need to stay away from my computer, and think about why I am worried or anxious and try to do something to amend these feelings.

(3)Anxious Eating
PROBLEM Instead of focusing on what is producing me anxiety and focus on solving this issue, I eat to forget about the issue and redirect my feelings into food.
ACTIONPLAN Similarly to the previous entry, this has to do with coping well with stress and anxiety. I think this means I need to get away from what makes me eat, and do/think about something different. Drinking a glass of water also helps to realise whether you are genuinely hungry, or just anxious.

(4)Mistaking Anxiety with Hunger
PROBLEM Sometimes I get home, or during the day, and I feel like my stomach is making noises, I feel tired and I feel like what my body needs is to eat to feel better.
ACTIONPLAN Similarly to the previous entry, this has to do with coping well with stress and anxiety. I think this means I need to get away from what makes me eat, and do/think about something different. Drinking a glass of water also helps to realise whether you are genuinely hungry, or just anxious.

(5)Mistaking Sleepiness with Hunger
PROBLEM Sometimes I get home terribly tired, and I seat on the dinning table to continue working after work. To do this I eat thinking that I am tired because I haven't eaten enough during the day(which is also probably true)
ACTIONPLAN Drinking a glass of water also helps to realise whether you are genuinely hungry, or just anxious. To discern sleepiness with hunger I can watch a film if its early, or just go to sleep. This should solve the issue.

(6)Watching Porn to dissipate Anxiety
PROBLEM This also happens when I have no free time, and I seat in my room to contemplate things that many times I find completely gruesome, disproportionate of aberrant. I am not against pron in principle, but now that I have a loved one I realise what I look for in those moments is some empathy, affection and love. I see my boyfriend everywhere. He is not in the Porn.
ACTIONPLAN This is fairly simple. It has to do with staying away from the computer to stop myself doing things that I don't want to do. This involves doing other things, like watering the plants.

(7)Hypercreativity
PROBLEM This is when I initiate too many projects to have a feeling of progress, or professional fulfillment. Sometimes I get involved in too many things and I forget to enjoy what I am doing. Instead of enjoying what I do and prioritise what is important for me.
ACTIONPLAN This is a relatively simple one. To stop this I need to make sure I prioritise what is most pressing. I can do this by setting deadlines to projects, and avoiding clashes. If this happens I need to make sure I edit out things that I can commit to. Doing too many things, and being inconsistent, or not finishing them can affect the quality of my work.

(8)Creative Detouring
PROBLEM This is a tricky one. This has to do with the moments when I am working on something specific that I have to do, but I start to delve deeper and deeper into the specificities of that subject/object that I am dealing with, forgetting about that I had to immediately do. I am aware of this, and it delays other people, and I forget about the main objectives of work, which induces stress into my work routine.
ACTIONPLAN This also has to do with refocusing, and making sure I prioritise the task that is at hand. If the brief says find a new door design, I should keep the focus perimeters close to the subject, rather than trying to decipher the whole history of the door. This can be tackled by setting timescales for research, development and completion, which need to be updated accordingly in a timetable.

(9)Non-editing of meetings
PROBLEM Trying to please everyone single person I know the same day, at the same time.
ACTIONPLAN This one also has to do with editing out. I need to make sure I note down my commitments and inform people in advantage with clashes. If any of this occurs I need to prioritise one of the meetings to make sure I can attend with proper preparation and material. This also has to do with proper scheduling.

The idea of insidiousness is well spread. But Today I don't want to generate some sort of criticism, nor I wan't to build upon some sort of semantic background. Today is simple. Is about frustration, labour, time, and our expectations. About the everyday, the what we perceive as solid but is truly contentious. It is also about immediacy, and having a sense of urgency, which for some reason I am starting to recover. That is that.

Life as consumerism is not the fact, or situation in which you find-yourself-consuming. That is just a plain transaction-with all its subtleties. Instead consumerism is the sense that progress, and worse, change lies in a place which is external. And I can give you examples: if I want to succeed I need-buy-an education, if I buy this type of shoes I will rune faster, and so on and so forth. Breaking out of this illusion is reject the consumerist attitude to life, and to build a less delusional experience of life for yourself.

I am not here to tell you what to do.

I have just recently read about the difference between Criticism and Critique, which I find very enlightening. I also enjoy how sophisticated Yahoo answers can get sometimes. Critique then is always constructive in its perspective, and this is something I am interested in. Constructive criticism, which as per the above it wouldn't be correct.

To think that you are within a system that has ruled out possibilities is a state of despair. And I think we are better off thinking about the relationship between a new ideology, as horrendous as that might sound (I need to find a better word here), and a for of being-in-the-world.

I have been working long hours recently and I have just realised that time is as fragile as our futile selves. I also think that we should somehow capture all the splendour, with no delay, to build toward the dreamed. This means breaking with convention. Breaking with fear. Breaking with the fear of being rejected, or ostracised, which I had both at high school and University. Is not until now that I can see a clearer picture of myself, and I am happy to embrace.

Embrace requires setting a new bunch of parameters, and working for other for example, just doesn't work for me. I am somehow emancipating today. I have also realised that studying for/with other doesn't cut it for me either. I am somehow a misfit in contemporary cultural expectation, as to what is perceived to be the correct way, or the way forward. Does this mean I am a freak?

Academic Halperin suggests that to get over stigma you have to embrace it, and possibly subvert it. Now I like all of his suggestions, and all of his-most of the time-wording. I would like to embrace what Ranciere has to say on Art and Politics; for they become political as much as they set new their own types of spaces of production. This means that the product is not so much at the centre of meaning, but its very infrastructure. Aiming at setting these is a political project in itself, as it is to refocus the Camera, to give it a new focus. Sometimes this action relies on No. What a liberating Word!

It is at this point clear that the world is run by filthy men. Like you know, those who abide to the canon. If social conventions are so infectious they can be so good! For where there is a pattern, there is a underlying logic, thus-I would say-a dehumanising phenomenon.

Today I am changing shoes, and I will be delivering a set of noes around the world, to take advantage, to refresh these ideas that have been in my mind for a long time. This time I am taking ownership which for know has somehow, as much as my assimilated learning can allow me, my agency. Agency towards the fulfilment of desire, and of intuition. Today I am re-engineering my gaze, my sense of taste, of cultural production, my manners, and more broadly my ways. As much as some colloquialism can grasp all my wishes to transmit some sense of meaning, rather that five volumes of theory, something must be wrong in our sense of appreciation. I the human project (haha) has been a collective trail towards dehumanization; I unsubscribe; for as Weizman would put it, I belong the club of humans, and for now I have a granted membership. Somehow I am willing to become more human; to realise that which hope has given me. I am in a project of Unlearning.

The word of the century.

Throwing butter to the ceiling/Tired of Life/

Tired of Butter II

Moments of Clarity surely difficult to find. I am on an-automatic-ball-throwing-machine mode. I wouldn't say that my behaviour is indiscriminate, or any near inconsiderate. But I have been thinking of this mode of action as (un)reflexive, for although I keep a pseudo task of automation on, in this process I try to learn from the mistakes I make on the way, notate them, revise them, perform amendments. Sometimes then some results might turn counter-intuitive, for which I am usually both alarmED™, terrified, and delighted.