20 de febrero de 2015
Emotional Deficiency/Extraneous Occupancy/The Private Sector/Academia/Emotional
Poverty/Spaces to Dream/Institutions as Impediment
Poverty/Spaces to Dream/Institutions as Impediment
You might have thought that after being a while away from this blog, I would come-back and Bang! Have this amazing story of my own. But the truth is, I have no such story.
Sometime back in the Days, I wrote this micro-piece called Serenity, a place where your dreams come true. And I have the feeling that in some way or another, we all live, or have lived in Serenity.
A lot of people think that mediocrity is what they are, what they are called when not managing competence. But the truth is, Mediocrity, is not allowing oneself to become an inhabitant of its very own World. Setting a distance between what we might call our desires, and what we call most of the times, our Responsibilities. At this point it might seem, as if Serenity and Responsibility are two worlds apart, in some form of eliminatory conflict. But then you will have to rip the veil apart to discover that the underlying duties behind the Statue of Responsibility, are those of the white-male who wants to preserve his heteronormative values of family, monogamy, capital accumulation, and claims of competitive superiority. You could have saved time by staying away from the land of statues, since they claimed a Territory unlike yours. And its true. Sometimes the only answer can only be a fight for autonomy, or the surrender of the personal and the public, to the status quo. That is, a bet for Realism, the neglect of Serenity. Those who have the power, and will to remain, so will do. This might require the dilution of his supporting institutions. But in his loneliness might the route to joy, to self-fulfilment. This time I might have to be taken seriously. I am unlike any other creature.
Delving into this state in which I am, butter-like, in which you can knife off the layers of grass. I have been hoping to do some sort of personal archaeology, in which I finally find some sort of a mythical core, or origin, the genesis (sorry for my words) of thyself. Again sorry for my words.
I have long ago bought into the rhetoric that to turn to the world, one has to carve a walking self. If you look into every nook and cranny of yourself, you will know the world. It has to be acknowledged that we remain at the end of the day, all the same. If to acknowledge sameness, we need to acknowledge difference, it is the time to embrace complexity, and not to flight for the books. We need to learn to learn, and to forget education, which produces only replicas. I have to claim and remind myself over and over again, so I do not loose track of Serenity...she has been off-limits lately, wandering around the periphery.
I know that Buddhism would most likely, run towards the erasure of my libidinal liquid. But if to live is to run and to fall, I might as well get hurt, and enjoy the run. Yes I know, sorry.
This idea of non-desiring drives me crazy, and seems to me to the very least to be an anti-life strategy. Can we be free of desire by desiring not to? I mean, you might as well forget about it all together. To remain ignorant is not the easy route, but the acknowledgement that precedent doesn't always equal future, and that any claim to control, or to precedent, is a claim to power. Going against the production of precedent, is the reaffirming and reassuring gesture, that a present needs to be prioritised. That the world in which we are contained, with its very own limits we can appreciate, confirm, reaffirm, and explore. It is important that Serenity in this instance, becomes a metaphor for empowerment, and that the means against disembodiment and alienation remain firm in the ground, grounded in our claims to Serenity.
Last but not least I would like to say that in writing I find peace, because I somehow manage to carve up a volume of personal space. Here I can hide, and think about what has the world done to us. What are the Alternatives on this assault of the personal, and how we can more now that ever, set up structures for increasing hopes for increasing levels of autonomy. This means that we cannot succumb to claims of security. To ideas of Long Term, but at the same time that we do not look for quick fixes that offer nothing but hope for the distribution of illusionary moments, or ghosts, for they will remain so. The fact that your peers might laugh at your abilities to Hope, to scape to Serenity, is just a reminder of how much we need it. It is in the laugh where anxiety for moments of contingency gets enacted. Where changes can be made. Spaces of Doubt.
But I shall not bore the reader no more. As these remain words at large, I would like to redirect attention to your spaces for Serenity. If you feel violated, you need to find a volume of your own. When words become a threat, you have entered a space of Hostility. It will be this space the only one you need to scape, for the straitjacket becomes tighter and tighter as you remain.
