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This is a short text on the idea of anxiety, dependence and interpersonal autonomy.


This is a short text on the idea of anxiety, dependence and interpersonal autonomy.


Why interpersonal autonomy? I tell you why, and it has to do with the idea of anxiety.
Having grown in a fairly isolated and isolating environment, I have realized that the idea of losing control or command over a given situation provides me with anxiety. My facing of situations in which my skills fail to show command or control over the situations make anxious and make me fill like the outcome wont be crafted to the amount of love and care I am willing to give. Lame, right? Well...actually not.

It is in small, controllable environments where the minute and the contingent can be minimized that I thrive. It makes sense that I am hoping to find a collective force that effortlessly couples with my creative intentions/expressions. I am finding it hard to achieve, as this intention requires collaboration and a delegation of tasks, which carries a certain amount of risk, the risk of being lost in translation.

Obtaining a certain degree of autonomy means gaining a certain degree of personal comfort and space. Dependence is in detriment of this individual practice and intensifies the idea of dealing with. When this relationship of dependence is heightened, anxiety overtakes me and I find difficult to cope with any other person other than me (believe me I'm enough for myself).
Perplexingly this goes against a practice of life that I like to call expansive and requires the subjective individual to shift from his position to that of the others. This is not achieved in an osmotic manner, rather it requires a phenomenological approach to the everyday: the experiencing of situations in one own's flesh to understand from a subjective point of view, that requires no exterior recalling. The expansive experience of life requires the constant self-labeling as an amateur, as accumulated experience or the idea of the experienced implies an accumulation of repetitive knowledge, or knowledge that is constantly performed. It is difficult to tell the young that experience is useless, as it constitutes a form of contractive practice, where otherness is the realm of the unknown.

We might argue that being expansive presupposes a personal equivalence between subjects, as the emphatic moment occurs after undergoing an actual experience. For this is a practice that might be called kind in nature. But as I have experienced, the situations in which we encounter our embodied thinking matter is constantly shifting and is constantly affected by its very actual form, sculpted by the passage of time and the storing of memories. One's own cultural context provokes the speaker to speak in certain way, to eat in a certain way and invariably to see the world trough a certain set of eyes (Nazism). To avoid this on directioness it is necessary to become expansive and to be able to shift between the subjective, the objective, the specific to the generic. And it is true that when we reach this moment of delightful, non-contingent and secure abstraction we have managed to reach a delusion, that of internal peace, proven that reality or what constitutes reality -our knowledge and conception of it- is ordered and admits no chance for the intrusion of chaos.

This brings me to the idea of reality and realism as it is treated on the contemporary writing of architectural theory, specifically in Tahl Kaminers work, where realism is the uncritical acceptance or absorption of what is perceived to be reality into the design process. This uncriticality is pinned down by a terrifying ideological fundamentalism, that reality is an existing entity-one-, and that there is no alternative to it-two-.

Obviously there is no easy job, and as a pedantic creative I am hoping to project my creative ideal into the real world, as an alternative rather than a solution. This might sound like constant head banging against a solid wall, but it is the hope that an aesthetic project has a social, economic and political impact, this is, the irremediable effect of non-liability in enabling larger than life conceptions or experiences. From this conceptual isolation of the mind, to realism, anxiety seems to emerge from an intense will to exist abstracted in the world or a continuous experiencing of frustration by this codependency between the imaginary and the real.